Photo Courtesy of Greg Paret
In February of 2012 my life changed forever. My partner had noticed he had a lump on his testicle and we shrugged it off as nothing but Dave had an upcoming physical so he’d mention it then. Teaching reproductive health, testicular cancer was a thing i THOUGHT i knew about. “Its a harmless cancer, it’s so rare, if you are going to get cancer this is the one that isn’t so bad”. These were all phrases i heard repeated or had repeated myself. So when Dave came home and told me he was diagnosed with testicular cancer i didnt know what to do. First i cried then i gathered my thoughts and said “well surgery will get rid of this and sooner than we know this will be over”. Six months later the hardest was over but the everyday thoughts and worries have not ended.
Dave happened to have one of the more aggressive types of testicular cancer. He first had the testicle removed and we thought phew its over. Then it came back that he would need a very serious surgery called an RPLND. We were sent down to Sloan Kettering in NYC because they have the leading doctors who specialize in testicular cancer. After meeting with them we knew he had to have the RPLND but it all happened very fast. He was booked for surgery a week later. After weeks in the hospital and several weeks of PT Dave was starting to come around and be able to do things.
During this time I was working during the day and then driving to the city at night to spend time with Dave. Once he was home i took a few weeks off since he was immobile most of the time. Once the surgery was behind us we found out worse news. Although the surgery was a success the cancer seemed to have already been spreading so two rounds of chemotherapy had to be ordered. Dave and I were a mess. Chemotherapy? That’s for people who are dying. Both of us have never really had to deal with cancer or anything this huge. All the stereotypes of chemotherapy came running into our minds, how would we deal with this?
As the days neared to chemotherapy, the costs piled up, the time i had to take off from work increased and we didn’t know what to expect. On the first day of chemotherapy a catscan was taken. This showed in the few weeks since the surgery a tumor had developed on Dave’s lung. That meant two rounds of chemo was now four…
During this time we were internally and externally freaking out about finances ,our jobs, our dogs, dave’s health etc. But our friends and families were there for us. They raised over $10,000 to help with the costs of treatment, travel and being out of work.We couldn’t believe that they could do that for us. Unlike a lot of people dealing with cancer we could finally put the financial worries behind us and focus on Dave’s health.
All through chemo i went to derby practice. I don’t think i missed more than 1 practice during this time. My derby family was just as important as my actual family. They surprised Dave and i and raised $500 dollars which paid for an entire round of chemo for us. This meant the world to us and during this time derby was the only place i had that could make me forget everything that was going on. Some nights my mom would beg me “just stay home tonight everyone at derby will understand” but that wasn’t why i went. I needed some kind of stress release and for me it was derby.
After the fourth round of chemo Dave was told he was cancer free. it was probably the happiest moment of our lives. But as time continues check ups occur frequently and during that time all the stress comes back for a day… i know Dave is wondering what if it comes back, what would we do…
Cancer has touched all of our lives in some way and after my experience i believe a positive mental attitude is the key to defeating anything. Although times may be rough you have to laugh and enjoy what you can, when you can. We were fortunate to have friends and family to help support us emotionally and financially without them i know we would have had a rougher time all around.
